“Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud;

Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,

And loathsome canker lies in sweetest bud.

All men make faults.”

-William Shakespeare

I've been reading Sophie's World.
I'm enjoying the book.
The problem is, now i'm secretly wishing I will receive letters from a philosopher everyday.
It sounds so fun. Can i be sophie?

Hope is a decision and so is Despair.
Hope is Faith - Pope Benedict XVI, Hebrews 11:1; " The assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen"

Hope is a decision for good over evil, light over darkness, love over hate.

I think having a clique is just another way to hide the fear of being alone.

-

Dictionary Meaning:
Cliques:a small, exclusive group of people

I saw this on facebook:
This is a group for all the fans who dislikes having annoying buggers who keep following your cliques everywhere you go, just like a parasite.

I don't understand people who fight/try to be in a clique, people who don't let people hang out with their clique because they're "high and mighty" and the rest outside the four walls of the clique are apparently "parasites" And i hate people saying " oh, i'm meeting my clique later" or "our clique".

If they really meant so much they would be called your friends, not your clique. Because the term clique is irritating and it's not intimate. It sounds like a mediocre corporate meeting.

-

And no,
I don't have cliques. I go around with random people. I hang out with random people.

Project J, they're not a clique. Because we are not exclusive and we are definitely not small.
And I do not call people i'm close to- my clique. I call them my friends. Great friends. They are not my exclusive small group of people.
Because we're not in "gossip girl" and no one is trying to be queen/king.

If I could choose,
I'd choose to lie here motionless.
I want to see the whole world move around me because it's easier.
It's easier to fall.
It's easier to stay there on the ground and not get up.
It's easier because standing up meant that you had to pull some strength from within.

If i chose to lie there i'm letting weakness take over,
but there are some days i wouldn't mind letting weakness take over.
I wish someone can push my dead weight of the ground,
hold me and tell me i'm going to get through this.

I need to hear those words,
"I am going to be fine"

I forgot what it was like to be intimate.
The kind of intimacy where you knew someone was with you all the way.
Not a boyfriend.

Just one special friend,
someone I could pour my entire heart to,
my thoughts,
my ideas,
my imagination.
cause I know lately thats about the only thing I wish for,
something that my heart aches for.

"No one is simply bad, or good, or brave, or cowardly, or poor decision maker, or hero at every specific point in time, we are complex beings."
-Justin Yip.

Misplaced.

"Can you believe she's christian?" ,my eccentric friend asked me.

I was telling him about this girl we didn't quite like because she was rude and obnoxious and that statement came up during lunch.

What is being a christian mean to him anyway?
I was thinking why would he say that. I was very annoyed with that statement because firstly he was no better than her and neither was I. Even if we were, who are we to say who should be christian or not.

So I posted that question back to him, "what does being a christian mean to you?"
but he kept quiet.

In my own assertiveness i questioned him again, " how are you different from her"
and there, the answer came "we are all sinners in our own way"

I just looked at him and gave him the face that suggested, "you know what you said earlier was wrong." Then we sat there during lunch, quiet. During that quietness I questioned how is it people can even think of such statements to say. It's, thoughtless, hypocritical and very clumsy.

I wondered as well, why was it she (the girl i don't really like) is always fighting back with the lecturers, telling people they are a burden. Who was she to say all that?

Days like these, make me want to scream "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'm deathly allergic to stupid thinking."

Click to enlarge it.
Cristy and i were going through my facebook friends and we saw this. She said I should just put this as my profile. Funny.

"I am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
vapour in the wind."

-

loneliness

We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify.
Look me in the eye and ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.

We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try.

We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

-

I won't stop fighting until your hearts are free from captivity.
It's to the end.
I'm not going to give up but I need for you not to give up too because I plan to stick around for a very long time.
I'll fight it with you,
you won't fight it alone and I can't fight it alone.

It's a journey we are going to take together.

Nausea,
head spinning,
heart racing.
my limbs are jelly. 

I think i'm going to die ( i only feel like im going to die.)
I'm so exhausted. 

An outlet.
Jamie said I needed an outlet with a certain kind of intimacy. 
And yet, i'm also selective.

No wonder I feel lonely. 

Well, at least I had  good conversations tonight. 
I miss Jamie,
I miss Daffy.

-

Im thinking of studying anthropology if i go to university. 
I wanted psychology because i found the human mind interesting and i wanted to know more.
What I finally realised that what I loved is just to study/observe humans not so much about knowing  what was/is psychological wrong with them.

-

“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves -- at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others -- at what they did or did not do.”
“Mistakes show us what we need to learn.”
-Peter Williams

This is for a certain young man who will grow up to be a fine man. I think you know who you are. Never give up. <3

"for today and tomorrow and the next day I must go on"

-

On being weird:

I like people who have a sense of individuality,
I love expression and anything awkward,
and imperfect, because that's natural and that's real.
 

Welcome to the planet 
Welcome to existence 
Everyone's here 
Everyone's here 
Everybody's watching you now 
Everybody waits for you now 
What happens next? 
What happens next? 

I dare you to move    I dare you to move    I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor 
I dare you to move 
I dare you to move 
Like today never happened 
Today never happened before 

Welcome to the fallout    Welcome to resistance    The tension is here 
The tension is here 
Between who you are and who you could be    Between how it is and how it should be  
I dare you to move    I dare you to move    I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor 
I dare you to move 
I dare you to move 
Like today never happened 
Today never happened 

Maybe redemption has stories to tell 
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell    Where can you run to escape from yourself?    Where you gonna go? 
Where you gonna go? 
Salvation is here     I dare you to move   I dare you to move   I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor 
I dare you to move 
I dare you to move 
Like today never happened 
Today never happened 
Today never happened 
Today never happened before
 

I feel incredibly lonely. 
and it's that kind of loneliness that makes me want to cry.
I don't know why I feel this way. 
I just know I need to cry.

"for today and tomorrow and the next day I must go on.."

battles...

I wish I could work full-time in church. Isn't that a good life? I don't mean, to be a nun but i just want to work in church all day long. I'll feel so happy. Maybe one day i'll get that wish. maybe i'll work in a church childcare.